Sometimes I think Bill Callahan really loves girls...
undo-thatdesire: She looks like one of Alice Lowe’s piss takes. Does it mean that Bill hates foreheads. I should abandon all hope then.
speedandsleep asked: they are by like a couple inches! and i think they enjoy inconvenience and also never being able to find anything.
YMFY: The First Date Bullet Points →
Glasses or contacts? - Glasses. They’re the British Accent of the face. Oh is that why people think I’m like Hugh Grant in a Merchant Ivory film.
Considering getting married so I can have matching plates and cutlery. And real kitchen appliances. And a fancy toilet brush with a 5-year warranty. It doesn’t even disinfect itself! So what, after three years the bristles fall off and you send it back and someone has to handle your shit brush to determine if the damage is covered by warranty so they can send you a new one? “quantity...
1:30 so my house/shower flip flops broke a while back 1:31 and i’ve been wearing my yoga mat flip flops around the house 1:31 which pisses me off to no end 1:31 because they’re so foamy you can’t wash them 1:31 well you can but they take an age to dry 1:31 so i’ve been 1:31 wiping them 1:31 and i have to put my wet feet back in them after i shower 1:31 so my parents came to...
They make a brush for tongues now? You mean I don’t have to scrape my tongue fur off in the shower with my hands making myself gag anymore?
CLICK ME TO SEE LOTS OF LAUGHING OWLS →
Beckhams are 'too working class' for posh... →
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAH (my old school, kind of) J got mad at me for reading this to him while he was getting ready for work. “£14,000-a-year? that’s not that bad.” Compared to our $50 grand a year master degrees… I guess not.
I started writing about how the new Bill Callahan is out today and how it’s been approximately exactly one year since stuff and how it stirs up feelings and memories and shit. But no one wants to read about that. Hey, no more drovering. Birds in trees. Blood red birds. Horses. Instead, I’m going to write about how I was reading Xiaxue (super guilty pleasure) and she posted photos of...
M: it's not like I'm going to wear my shiny snakeskin shirt
L: I would!!!!
L: actually that's not true
L: when I want to get laid I tone my outfits way down
M: really? why?
L: because my normal outfits are BONERKILL
L: that's why
M: usually when I have sex I like to get stabbed in the face with a giant rock ring